WARNING TO NON TEXANS

Caution in regards to all the people wanting to move here from New York, California, and other heavily populated cities across the country, as well as those wanting to visit.

Before you come to Texas to visit you must be aware of what is happening here. There's a housing shortage, rent has tripled, and folks are vacationing here in record numbers...

So if you plan on moving here, or just plan on vacationing in our woods, river bottoms, or lakes this summer, I think you should know that wolf spiders, fire ants, and bedbugs have infested hotels and motels across the area due to dryer than usual weather. The woods will eat you alive with ticks, mosquitoes, and chiggers.

Our lakes and oceans are full of gators, fresh water sharks, and creepy old guys wearing speedos.

Our rivers are full of drunks in tubes peeing themselves while the banjo players lay waiting in the bushes.

Mountain lions have eaten many domesticated animals and possibly some small children.

The local bear and coyote population are all 'in heat' and think your wife/girlfriend is hot.

Snakes! Don't even get me started on the water headed copper moccasins and the diamond back rattle Cobras that are native here.

The poison ivy has overtaken all other vegetation.

We have had bear sightings at every park and town they are after your picnic baskets….and some cougars have been spotted near motel and hotels.

Watch out for the jackalopes; they have been extremely aggressive this season.

We have Bigfoot invading our parks and it’s their mating season. Porcupines are "stabbing" small children should they dare to utilize the local playground equipment.

Skunks have made their way over and multiplied at unprecedented rates and wander the local campgrounds in packs looking for beer.

Murder hornets!?! We’ve got great black clouds of murder hornets, and swarms of giant crickets, and even some Alabama grasshoppers.

Scorpions have been congregating in massive quantities under rocks, logs, wooden steps, automobiles, and tarantulas are now stealing peoples food and biting like crazy.

I’m pretty sure all private tiger owners (we had a jump in them after Tiger King) have released their cats into the streets of our cities and towns.

Head lice now fly and we have vampire bats.

Oh and no one is vaccinated!

Come at your own risk!

 

LOVE this post!!!

 

I’m not allergic to poison Ivy or Sumac!!!
Trout?

 

Yup...I've released three spotted seatrout > 28" this past Winter down here on the Texas Gulf Coast

 

Sweeet I think I’ve caught a twenty incher. Weird how they just die when it gets too cold. I’m talking “freshys”?

 

We tried to tell then Washington wasn't for them either, with the constant rain and cloudy weather.

They still came.

 

Seems they have an extensive stocking program.https://tpwd.texas.gov/fishboat/fish/management/stocking/trout_stocking.phtml

 

My son's mother lives in Austin. I have visited a few times. I've never seen so many homeless people. Great area, otherwise.

I might visit periodically to get some bbq and bass fishing.

 

They also manage bass fishing in a pretty unique way. If an angler catches a real monster (13#+ I think), the Texas DNR will use that fish to breed and stock other lakes. They're trying to improve the trophy potential in all bodies of water.

This might be an oversimplified explanation, though.

 

Man...I love the Columbia River Pacific Coast shoreline in the Summer...The Seaside OR area is breathtaking... If not having to leave the dogs behind I would be there every year...Too far to drive...They like hanging in the San Juan Mountain Range Colorado anyways...Paid for cabin out of Ouray for first two weeks of October this year just today!

 

LOL...Share A Lunker Program

 

Texas Parks & Wildlife has a lot to be desired...I fish in Louisiana half of the year with a non resident license.

 

My old freind “millionaire I need to call’em”, Tuna fishes off the Texas coast every year.

 

I like this post. It's better than the typical "Whataburger" joke post

 

Whataburger sold out years ago...Ain't really worth a chit...I would much rather drive home hungry & make a BLT when I got back to the crib

 

I spent a good bit of time in your lovely state when I was in the military. Can I come back if I voted for the other guy? If not, I guess it’s Florida when I retire because they also still like police officers.

 

no one likes da po po

 

In short, you don't want us there

 

Don't even think about NC. Lots of banjos playn' here!

 

Stay away from Seattle, Washington. We have homeless who stink like skunk and they are immune to law

 

Charlotte is a pretty city, little gem.

 

We get 3 winters in Wisconsin, so that ought to keep people away!

 

40 degrees below zero tends to keep the riff raff out of MN... and we have 9 months of winter. That helps too. 30 days each of spring, summer and fall. That about wraps it up....

 

I'm the opposite of everyone else I guess. Please, come to Maryland, it's so wonderful! If more people flock here I can finally get the hell out and go somewhere less mundane, maybe I'll try Texas, I hear they are real excepting to out-of-towners.

 

Don't forget about our state bird, the mosquito. All these lakes aren't for fishing, don'tcha know. Prime skeeter breeding grounds which produce massive skeeter swarms.

Then there's the Canadians. Coming back here as soon as snow melts. Crossing the street like they don't care. Pooping everywhere. Then if you get close, they start honking at you like they own the place. Get outta here ya damn geese!

 

Unfortunately Las Vegas has already become mini-California. Skyrocketing rent/home costs, traffic, $5+ gas prices, falsely entitled and snobby elitists who vote for the same crap that wrecked the state they came from. Shame. I was happy to move here, now I want out.

 

I would never move to Texas due to the fact that I like my power being on when it snows! Plus their roads suck.

 

I saw this a few years ago as that state was already turning blue. Where were you originally from?

 

Based on that, I think they will do their best to keep their roads in shitty condition and not touch the power grid.

 

Philadelphia suburbs, Delaware County. Same crap there. Moved to Vegas for a job promotion with my girlfriend, who was also on promotion. I love the nature and ability to see a good concert almost every week, but in my year and a half here so far I've watched the traffic and crime go up, along with housing market. Fortunately, I have a bunch of equity in the house I bought last year already lol.