Starting over advice

So just getting others perspectives here. I’m 38 and have worked in the finance industry since I was in college almost 21 years ago. I’ve always had this knack for working with people and helping them get the financing they are looking for and a lot of times the finance they need vs what they thought they needed.

That being said the finance industry is a fickle bitch and it can down right chew you up and spit you out when you least expect it. And some of the companies I have worked with truly encompass the fact you’re just a number and are replaceable tomorrow. Now I find myself torn.

I’ve always enjoyed my current position and though I haven’t always agreed with my current companies ideology or the way they come to their conclusions of matters I’ve done my best to conform and try to understand why it is a policy is in place and accept it’s there for a reason. However the stress of performing to higher and higher expectations and the increasing amount of lack of support has lead to more stress and more moments of whether or not I am ok with my current company or not. Am I still with this company for the right reasons?

This brings me to my main topic. How many of you that care to answer have started a new career path at an “older” age? And what brought you to the conclusion you needed to get off of the current path? How did you get over the fear of leaving something you’ve known for so long? And as a devils advocate ploy for those that didn’t make the change why didn’t you?

My wife and I have discussed this in great detail and we have looked at the pros and cons of both though the cons are limited because we have nothing to base the new career off of. But for instance I have 6 weeks paid time off currently, 401k, pretty decent medical, I can almost take off when I want as long as it’s within the companies parameters. However any vacation over 2 days has to be cleared well in advance and is subject to change based off the needs of the company.

So all that being said and I’m sorry for such a long winded post I’m curious of any perspective I can get.

 

First question

do you live to work or do you work to live?

that will tell you your answer.

 

Your young enough to go for it and never look back. Then when you are 70 you can look back and be glad you did.

 

Ask your conscience. Do you feel comfortable seeing people being ripped off? Do you want to be a part of that?
The only interest I pay is on my mortgage. I was ignorant in my youth a couple times, and was taken advantage of on interest rates. I no longer will pay interest. My 4-Runners were paid for with cash.
I don't finance anything. If I had a crisis and HAD to, then so be it, but....
I realize some people have no choice until they establish good credit, but I am 66 and no longer need it.
I had a long corporate career that I enjoyed and managed my income fairly well. I now live on a good pension and SS.
You are obviously relatively young and smart. The mere fact that you posted this, tells me you are not really happy.
Personally, I would persue a profession that makes you AND others happy. Just my $.02.

 

There’s a myth out there to “do what you love and the money will follow”. Well, maybe, for some people. But it’s pretty rare. I’ve never known anyone who’s “loved” their job. For most of us, with skills in demand from employers who pay high salaries and great benefits, there’s a lot of responsibility to perform. Which means stress. Mental stress. At least it’s not physical stress like lots of people in manual labor jobs. But it’s hard. Every job worth doing is hard. That’s why it’s called “work”.

If you can find some measure of satisfaction every day from taking pride in your job, getting results, and enjoy (some of) the people you work with, stick it out. Save and invest your money with a vengeance and the intention and plan to retire early or to have enough financial security to only work part time.

Have a fun after-work life. Friends, spouse attention, hobbies, exercise, vacation travel, home remodel, 4Runner modifications, etc.

And meanwhile, keep your eyes open for that elusive perfect job. You just might get lucky.

 

In my career, I enjoyed being respected for a job well done. I guess that's what I would equate to enjoying what I did.
The perks were not bad either. Expense account, travel and the pleasure of solving problems for nationally known companies. No dis-respect to "new life" intended, however, the few times I did finance anything, long ago, I cannot say it was respect that I felt toward the finance manager, just happiness because of approval.

 

Do what you feel will make you happy!

I had the same mentality, that I'm "too old" to start over.

Funny thing is, I will be leaving my job of 10 years soon and going into a trade school.

If this gives you an idea of the drastic changes, I'll be moving into a different city, as our new house is being built at the moment, giving up a job that pays 6 figures.

I'm a finance director in the automotive industry and aside from that, law enforcement, and military experience (disabled veteran), I don't have much else to rely on much less a degree of any sort.

You'll be fine.

Having a partner that's on the same page as you (your wife), will help get you both to where you want to be.

 

You wouldn’t be the first person to quit a job over shit employer vacation practices.

 

You can always start over, but you'll have to be ready for additional education and a (probably large) pay cut. It's not that hard, but it is financially painful.

But it might still be worth it. Go read Seneca's "On the Shortness of Life" and make the courageous choice.

'Look back in memory and consider when you ever had a fixed plan, how few days have passed as you had intended,when you were ever at your own disposal, when your face ever wore its natural expression, when your mind was ever unperturbed, what work you have achieved in so long a life, how many have robbed you of life when you were not aware of what you were losing, how much was taken up in useless sorrow, in foolish joy, in greedy desire, in the allurements of society, how little of yourself was left to you; you will perceive that you are dying before your season!” What, then, is the reason of this? You live as if you were destined to live forever, no thought of your frailty ever enters your head, of how much time has already gone by you take no heed. You squander time as if you drew from a full and abundant supply, though all the while that day which you bestow on some person or thing is perhaps your last.'

 

yup...been there...done that.....life is too #$%ing short...roll the dice...and good luck.

 

Honestly I can’t answer that because I don’t know. I feel more on the work to live. Financially I am pretty well compared to others. My house is almost paid for, both of our 4runners and our oldest sons car are all paid for We don’t necessarily live paycheck to paycheck in fact a good chunk of my check goes into retirement and savings and the rest is for what little household bills we have. We owe less than 25k on the house and could wipe that out if we so chose to but it would be taking out of our retirement which I don’t feel like makes financial sense when we have a 2% rate.

 

I suppose it doesn't have to be "all or nothing" right? You can plan your exit and when you get a stepping stone, take the hop.

 

Hey matey! This is a really good discussion indeed, and I was going to send you a private message, but here goes... I think we have all been there, and have gone through these thoughts at a certain point in our lives. In fact, it's never easy. I'm in the IT Management field at 43 years old, and my company is going through some changes now that has led to more work for my employees and I, a tonne of ungrateful, bad attitudes, backstabbing, and at times, I've thought about what it would be like just to say "you know what? This place can suck it!" Like you, my partner and I are in a good situation, no real debt, a mortgage that is almost paid off as well, a good savings and good retirement.

Sometimes we just have to step back and think, "what will really make us happy in the long run?" It seems as though right now, a lot of companies are blaming their bad behaviours on COVID, and of course, there are people out there to do the work, so they have no loyalty to employees. Everyone is just a number. (take companies like Amazon) I'm lucky to have a good Manager whom looks out for me, but with that being said, it's the old phrase, "Same shit, different toilet you'd be jumping into." Think about what you may be facing as a result of jumping ship. You may have a worse situation company wise in the future. Plus, do you really want to start over with a new company at this point? Start over from scratch in making a name for yourself? Start with 2 or 3 weeks of vacation? Also, take a massive pay cut, again, building a name for yourself. I'm with you, I have been at my firm for the past 13 years and get 6 weeks of PTO time yearly, and have made a name and reputation for myself. At times, I just feel like to start from the beginning in proving myself, I feel a little scared/hesitant.

These are things to think about before starting over. I think the only person whom can answer these questions honestly is you. Definitely do what's best, but I suggest to take a step back with weighing all of the pros and cons before you do. Whatever you choose man, do it knowing that it was the right decision in your circumstance. Best of luck mate.

Cheers,

Sean

 

myself. good place in life...houses are paid off. retired. collecting pension and SS. have zero debt. and have no interest in getting back into the quicksand..

 

Instead of saying how good their lives are, or how they would do it, I'll attempt to answer your question.

My mother was an elementary school secretary, went back to college at 32, graduated by 36, and began a new an exciting life around 37 - 38 in finance. She started out as a sales person (pretty much what all finance is right, as you well know), selling life insurance. Upgraded to Annuities. Eventually moved to Financial Advisor, and now co-owns a business with 2 others doing financial planning and all of the above. She's 62 this year.

I'd say the "reboot" took 5 - 7 years to get off the ground, and another 10 to perfect. As you can see, you're about at that 15 - 20 year mark with your career.

But she was a secretary, and nothing wrong with it. But we know it wouldn't pay in the same range of a financial advisor. So would she do it again? Yes, because it increased her potential. But a change in career to not increase potential when you have established yourself and have more runway?...maybe not

I'd say it won't be too different than restarting from 20 years old unless you have an "in" or have someone boosting you up. If you're starting from scratch, prepare for a lot of work to build yourself back up there.

----

Now, for unsolicited advice:
Find a company in the industry that you already have expertise in that values family time. Will you LOVE work every day? Unlikely. Will they allow you to take a full week off, truly un-interrupted? That's the winner. It's a trade. You trade your life for their money, but if they control your life and the flow of money, you need to take back at least one of those.

 

You don't need a career change - you need an employer change. My wife is in the finance/banking industry and she has been treated very well by the banks she has worked for. There are better employers out there...far better it sounds like. Start polishing up that resume and get the word out you're looking.

 

I realized a few years ago, I work so I can live. Money made was my only focus for a while, taking care of the family only priority. Well, I started falling apart, and after sometime finally realize that taking care of my family made me happy, but I needed to be happy about what I was doing every day, what I was getting up for each morning.

So, I left the job and started in public education, back to doing something I could feel good about. That was about 8 years ago, still don’t bring home what was, but family is happy and I am happy with what I try to do on a daily basis. But here is the kicker, my bosses still suck, they still are stupid, and I still know better than them, but now I’m a bit older and learning to deal with the bull as I leave every day, happy knowing I did good work each day.

 

What would you rather do?

I worked in purchasing - it's a trap.

 

This is an excellent point. Changing employers is relatively painless compared to changing careers. Sometimes it can even be as simple as setting proper boundaries with your current employer. I've found that many employers will try to guilt/persuade/bully you into giving up your private life. And why wouldn't they? If you're salaried, they get something for nothing.

But you've been doing this long enough that you've earned the ability to set boundaries and push back. I have also found that many employers won't actually do anything if you push back. They're just kind of hoping you won't. But if you do, they'll leave you alone.

 

At age 35 I was burnt out in my job as a professional engineer and I jumped at an opportunity to complete a PhD in engineering. Now 30 years later I am still in the same general field of work but my life has been so much better because I took the path that felt right at the time. If you need a change, go for it!

 

This is one of the craziest job markets in my lifetime. I’ve been a Corp recruiter for over 20 years and there are WAY more job openings than qualified people right now. I’d say put your toe in the water and look around in your field. You might find better culture, pay, and unlimited PTO. A lot of companies have to offer full remote to engage talent right now, so look out of your immediate area as well. If you interview with a ha scum of companies in your field and don’t feel that pull of excitement, that might be your sign to change fields/emphasis.

just my thoughts…

 

1. Watch movie Office Space (again). Especially the final scene.
2. If you're not happy, change something. Review your options and don't hesitate to take action. Won't always be roses, but you can find happiness.

The problem for most is the fear of change.

 

Thanks for all the responses. I have been non stop thinking about this since I posted yesterday and made the decision not to necessarily leave finance but to throw my line out there and just see. We (my wife and I ) discussed it more and rather than make a haste decision. I should tighten the proverbial boot straps and dig down while looking for something in the mean time.

Basically there’s no harm in just throwing out my resume and seeing what I attract while also talking to various recruiters as well. But it also gives me the luxury of having a still steady flow of income while I do it. I did make it very clear to my wife that I’m not just going to hop on the first train out of dodge and I am going to take my time doing this.

I don’t want to go from the skillet to the fire (however that saying goes) and make a decision based off emotion or what looks great on paper.

 

You're on the right track. The thought process is sound. Follow the path and see what happens.

 

I'm 43, about to be 44. I have been in law enforcement since I was 19, working first in a jail, then dispatching, then for the last 19+ years as a municipal police officer. I've worked at several different departments in two states, but the jobs have all been more or less the same.

I'm literally, as we speak, in the process of upending my life, leaving law enforcement, and moving cross country. Incredibly, and maybe stupidly, I do not have a job lined up. I just know I'm finally at my wits' fucking end with this job, and I don't want to do it anymore. I am tired of accomplishing nothing, working for fools, and always dancing the tightrope of remaining on the good side of public perception while at the same time being aggressive enough to not get killed out there. There's a lot of issues inherent in my profession that probably aren't present in yours, but the main idea I'm going for here is: if you reach a point where you just can't keep going - don't. In my case there's no fear about leaving this job... there's fear about staying on it.

I have no idea what I'm going to do, but I'm enterprising enough to find something. And, as another poster said, there are a glut of jobs in all sorts of industries available now, so even if I have to stair-step into something I enjoy by working at a few jobs I don't really enjoy, that'll be okay. It'll be better than it is now, at least. I think I might want to work on the railroad, or in aviation; or hell, I may recertify in fire and EMS and do that. I always liked that when I did it part time and volunteer some years back.

For the first time in my life, I'm not moving somewhere for a job... I'm moving somewhere because it's where I want to live. This I think is also an important consideration that you do not mention. Do you live where you live now because of your job? If you weren't working there, would you still want to live there? Where you call home and why you call it home has way more to do with happiness than what you do for a living, IMO.

And as Electroboy else noted, the whole concept of ''do what you love" is fucked; no one "loves" their job. It's a means to an end. The luckiest of us can probably just say: "yeah, my job's okay"...

So in keeping with my above comment, I think this may be the wrong approach. Yeah, it's mature, or financially viable, or whatever; but it keeps you at status quo which is clearly not where you want to be. If you continue working there, and just sort of drop feelers here or there or offer up a few resumes, you aren't hungry enough to get the fuck out of there. You're going to stay... because it's just easier. You need a big gesture that there isn't any walking back from to end that job and give you the motivation to find something else.

I am lucky enough that my wife has a great job (which she mostly likes, half the time) so my quitting isn't putting us in a financially bad position. This may not be the situation for you, and in that case I get it - you gotta pay the bills. But until you can make a clean break and force yourself to start fresh, you most likely won't.

Good luck.

 

MeefZah,
Given your background, and the way things are right now, ( a lot of new gun owners ), you might consider training these newbies which you can do anywhere you choose to live.

Thank you for your service, and I understand completely!!

 

Not a bad idea. And thank you!

 

Two years ago (at 34) I changed jobs/careers. I made a mistake, lol. I'm trying to go back into what I did before.

I worked for the same company right out of college for 11 years. Worked my way up from a Financial Analyst to a Project Manager. Project Managers at this company are sort of a big deal... like they get respect and have a lot of responsibility. I was the youngest PM in our business unit at 30 (or 29, cant remember). Did that for 5 years and enjoyed the work I did. The company is a defense contractor and I managed two contracts that built communications systems for the Navy. I worked in a separate building with a small team, we were all close. The company didn't really support our group the way i thought they should have, especially in the Procurement department. Our tasks were set up to fail as far as schedules go (due to said Procurement department). I also, as being a Project Manager, could see the salaries of workers obviously, but also other PMs. I was the 7th highest revenue grossing PM, but like 32nd in pay. I actually qualified to be a Sr. PM based on time/revenue which would've put me into the bonus pool. Anyways, I brought this up for two years straight in my performance reviews and brought in all the numbers/facts that I should be paid more. They shot me down, for no real reason or without explanation, even though I always received great reviews. Anyways, it came to a head two years ago when I got offered a job (still in the defense industry) as a Cyber Security Engineer. I had gone to school for Cyber but never practiced it in real life. I really dislike my new job... and it's not really what I thought I was signing up for when I interviewed. HOWEVER, I got a fairly substantial pay raise moving over which is why I did it. Now, i've been doing it for over 2 years and it was only tolerable due to COVID allowing me to work from home. But we are back full time in the office, so that sucks.

Anyways, now i'm realllllly trying to get basically the same job I had but with a competitor of the previous company. Been working on it for over 6 months with some VPs at the new company. Its all contract based work so just waiting on new tasks to be issued by the government. So long story short just make sure you make the 'right' change.

 

As a manager of people I see this course taken often.

It boils down to 2 scenarios. More pay, or a title. Sometimes both.

When people are considering moving to another team or another company I ask only 1 question, "Is money or title the reason you're going?" I do not try to pay them more to keep them. When people have come to me they have already made their decision and the worst thing I could do is falter their resolve. I do share that thought with them so they know. To be fair HR sets pay so I don't have real control anyways in that regard.

My point is I only want people that want to be there. When you begin comparing others to yourself you will always be disappointed..because no one compares less successful people to themselves, they always compare more successful, which leads to envy.

I am on a team of 4 other mangers, I am the lowest paid, but continually receive "exceeds" each year. It doesn't matter, the money doesn't matter (I mean aside from paying bills). I'm learning, and then when the time is right I'll capitalize my experiences and tenure on the position I want to do. Not the first one that comes along, the one that interests me. Will that honeymoon last forever? Nope. Planning for the next one while enjoying learning this and what comes with it.

Tough spot man, I do hope you find what you really are interested in. And then, I hope you find peace in not being paid the most yet still performing well, or that you do finally get what you're owed. I will not do a job simply for money, it needs to grow me some while supporting my lifestyle.

This post is a bit off topic but your experiences you shared are very on point.

You need to know what YOU want from a transaction. Do not trust that the change will solve the problem.

P.S. Since this is a car forum I'll relate it to 4Runners. I bought my 4Runner without asking what others paid. I did my research of what I could afford, features I wanted, and compared bank rates and general pricing. I went to the dealer and made a deal I wanted. I don't care if its the best deal on the forums. I doubt it is. It's not the worst either. But it's the vehicle I wanted for the purpose I wanted and the price I was willing to pay.

 

I mean I don't want to come across as a money hungry beggar. My analysis of salaries had me requesting a 7% raise to be 'average' and more in line with other PMs with similar revenue targets. To me that's not some monstrous request. I also did my analysis for 2 years so I really hadn't 'made my decision' at the first go... they pushed me to leave over a fairly long period of time. Money wasn't the only thing, just the main thing. And to your point, I wanted to be there, I liked my job so much i'm trying to get back into it, but at some point all angles need to somewhat align for both parties.