Make us laugh

Comedy gold
This one is actually funny from the pun page

 

Twas the night before Christmas,
the nieghbors are settled in bed burning used motor oil to stay warmed,
We had a light coating of ice on the bridges causing accidents,
they dont salt here but no one was harmed.

 

These new aluminum beds are great?
I just saw one with a bent tailgate. Thought to myself that's odd.
Almost as bad as Dodge's volume knob shifter that my boss left in gear and smash the rear end on a tree.

 

Did KIA pay for our New Years celebration? Because I think it SUCKED!lol

 

Getting ready for "Snowmagedon". How much do "Limited Edition" Timberland boots cost that are made in the USA?
$499.00 a pair!

 

HMMMM, here you go, you can get a new pair directly from Timberland for $260!

https://www.timberland.com/en-us/p/...um-espresso-waterproof-super-boot-TB0A2MYWEXU

 

No. They were only available for a short wile. OMG they are so comfortable! Alittle wet and i oiled then.

 

I have tall Sorel Donier rated -40 or lower for walking down to shed in deep snow IF ever get anymore!

 

If they were only available for a limited time then they aren't $499 or $495 any longer since you can't buy them anymore, so what's the point in you posting them???

I do see there are a pair or two on ebay for less than you say, even more if you don't mind a used pair for way less than 1/3rd that price.

 

Well, the neighbors are not burning trash. Not sure whats up?

 

What do you tell a female porn star who also served in the military?

Thank you for your cervix!

 

Reddit gang can be so brutal…

 

C'mon let's go to Florida!!!

 

I just paid a $1,000.00 for a laptop computer that does not log into Microsoft?lol

 

I was so hacked my TV was screaching at me, my phone does not work, And my wifi hvac thermostat has a mind of its own.

 

written off into river

 

I had an ass pimple on my face for 3 months. FINALLY ITS GONE!

 

"Property Tax" AGAIN? Wait I dont have to pay it anymore.
Disregard.

 

Pay $50,000. for a master bath remodel and they dont raise the toilet flange, leaks asswater down on the first floor?lol

 

asswater

 

I got one better. This concrete floor guy I worked for.lol
He coated the floor in this pizza joint without putting "grit" down.
It was like an Ice Skating rink, the poor diahwasher was sliding, you could not walk on it without busting you ass.lol

The only reason it opened was they new it was going to be bought and demolished two years later.lol

 

what’s up stairs?

 

"Why is a Smaller toilet, more expensive than a Big toilet"?

 

I know a good recipe for Carp:
Wrap Carp in cardboard and stuff it with rice,
Bake at 350 for 3 hours,
Throw the Carp away and eat the cardboard.

A black guy told me that at the trout stream.

 

How many incels does it take to screw in a lightbulb? None. They just sit in the dark blaming the bulb for not screwing them.

 

I got to go to the salon to sniff some hair.