A thread in which I shall insult you, your taste, and your car.

I honestly think we got the last of the "good years" of being a kid.

 

Florida isn't THAT bad.

 

For a few years I have been planning on moving down there. But, seeing how many people are moving down over the last few years, and housing prices going through the roof has made me start to reconsider.

 

Grady Judd is the MAN!

 

I’m in So Cal right now visiting my wife’s dad. He is 96 years old. Defiantly got the crazy ass drivers and it seems they all have road rage. We will be here till next Thursday and can’t wait to get back home to NM. Good news is our 4Runner got between 21 and 24mpg on the trip to Ca.

 

Fun Fact: If you have to say "It isn't that bad." then it probably is, and you're lying to yourself! (Think about it!)

 

https://youtu.be/BqQP74PAhtI?si=M3ShVY9xIuokm0rO

 

Go paaak the caaah then!

I can't say anything. I married a New Yorker. Just as bad.

 

Let's sum this thread up so far for our Alabama readers who can't read more than 2 pages a week:
Bad - fang lights, raptor lights, sequential lights, jeeps, boomers, asshole drivers, Florida, California, Kentucky, Army Green, algebra, balls, no balls,
Good - Trophy wives, Captain Spalding, Grady Judd,

 

Great post.
First off, it made me laugh early in the day.
Secondly, we can now all spend the rest of the day nitpicking at it.

 

LOLOLOL

 

LOL. Gay, I mean happy and cheerful, gay. ;-)

 

Have you ever seen the bumper sticker that reads: "Remember when the word gay meant that you were happy? It still does!"

Excuse me while I go fart out a rainbow.

https://youtu.be/ASmSKkIm44c?si=T_iz53ypqaCpOo-T

 

I shower once a week....Even though I dont need it....

 

Cool! Let me smell it...Does it change flavors too??

 

Eww. There's nothing worse than a fart that's so bad, you can taste it.

https://youtu.be/lbd3gSkeTVg?si=WOkQWZs0ZvR3vG9L

 

This reminds me of my wannabe Rockstar days, driving home from Texas after playing South by Southwest. 4 guys in a van, who had just spent 6 days eating barbecue, and Mexican food and drinking an obscene amount of beer (we had to represent Wisconsin, right?). Sometimes I'd light a cigarette just to get a break from the funk.

 

I'm surprised the cigarette lighter didn't cause the van to implode!

 

Just last night my wife ripped, and when I sarcastically asked “What’s that smell?” she giggled and replied “Cocoa Channel.”

Okay, I’ve finally lowered myself to fart humor. Thanks Jennyjo.

 

You're welcome. You gotta be able to laugh at farts.

 

The joke that never gets old no matter how many times you tell it.

 

@djwantke has a birthday today. 36 makes him an old fart, right?

Happy Birthday!

 

Okay, I'll add in a fart story. Back in the 90's me and some Ranger buddies had to go train at Bragg for a few weeks, so we decided to rent a van a drive from Benning to Bragg. There were 7 of us. I was volun-told to drive. My fellow Rangers had been hazing me all week long, so I was plotting my revenge for days.

The night before I ate a lot of cabbage.

We hopped in the van and off we went! But before we left, I hit the locks on the door, so they only opened from the OUTSIDE. Remember those child safety locks? Yeaaaaaaah, so do I. I rolled up the windows and locked 'em so they wouldn't roll down. 1 hour into the drive the guys were napping, and the bowels of hell unleashed themselves. They were the "SBD" kind. Silent But Deadly

They were gagging over the smell, yelling at me, throwing things at me, then begging me to roll down the windows or open the doors. I was laughing so hard that I almost drove the van off the road. Those guys never hazed me again. I won that damn battle.

 

Cabbage farts... some of the most powerful vapors around!

SBDs - the invention of stealth technology!!

 

That depends on who you ask.
If you ask us old farts, he's a kid.
If you ask his kids, he's an old fart.

 

You, sir. Are my hero. I applaud you!

 

From Spalding’s paint color observations (insults) to fart stories. Pull my finger!!

 

Expert tip for making it even worse next time - turn the heat on full blast.

Alright, my fart story. Senior year of high school, my buddy told me he could light his fart like in the movies. I told him he was full of shit. He pulls out a lighter, pulls his knees up to his chest, and damned if he didn't light up the passenger floorboard with a fireball that night. I laughed so hard I had tears streaming down my face. Best part was, no smell

 

I taught my daughter "pull my finger" a couple of weeks ago before bed. Now she keeps asking if she can pull my finger before she goes up to brush her teeth